'batteries not included

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

11:04 PM

It Permeates

Yeah... my necklace was broken since yesterday sigh. Was playing with Keiths and so happen he pulled the chain and it snap. It just reached one week old, sigh I guess I have to pay like another $46 for it. I was actually angry with him at first but I thought to myself that I should not let money affect our friendship haha. Keith is cool. =P. Well, today we had this booster session from adam khoo's workshop. It all about teaching us time management and learn a few skill on how to stay relax. It did motivated me to study again but was not a very strong impact, they showed part of the scene from coach carter. I wanted to watch that movie but I missed it =( hahaha I do not actually like watching movie especially scary movies. Like why pay money to scare yourself, just look in the mirror la wahhahaha =x. The parts of the movie that they showed speaks alot to me, not sure about the others but I nearly cried at one point. Anyway these few days I kinda feel like I am crazy over what I eat. haha I gave up my KitKat chunky today! hahaha because when I looked at it, the word FATTERNING just pops up haha. Cutting down on starch and eating more meat and fruits haha that's kinda my diet plan. Hope it works though. Exercising have never been so fun haha wonder what got into me =/. Today for me was quite alright and all, but there is a demon in my head plays a nightmare tape of what went wrong yesterday. It is pretty overwhelming at times. God what have become of me? Am I really allowing these emotions to eat into me. ahhHH *shakes head* I just want to SCREAM! scream to no one! Can I get clean again? I want to know... Sometimes I do not believe that everything happens for a reason, it just does not go as plan. The siren's song that is your madness, holds a truth I can't erase. I seem to be in search for something I could never give you, yet there is someone who understand. This sadness I can't erase.... goodnight world