'batteries not included

Thursday, August 09, 2007

3:16 AM

Weatherman

Yea, I have this feeling of blogging again. I just can't seem to bottle up all my emotions anymore. It is like a overloaded hard-drive or pouring coffee into a cup while dreaming into space. Well, I so totally understand the meaning of monday blues and understand why Garfield says he hate monday like Garfield predicted what was coming for me.

Monday was titled Killer Donuts. It is hard to face tuesday after what happen on monday. I kill myself each morning and praying and hoping that this is all just a nightmare, pinch myself to reality. I can't seem to get my focus back again. I wished I was the one watching not the one in it. My mouth is just filled with blood trying not to speak. At times, I stare blank into space and wished I was up there looking down at my body in other words, dead.

Emotions are like salad at the tossing process, all jumbled and mixed. I just can't differ, but I'm sure that happiness isn't an ingredient in this salad. A side of me speak of good words like, "I hope she moved on.". The other side says things like "teach me how you moved on", "I guess I didn't mean anything to you as you moved on so easily.".

Reason why I named this blog 'sinkfullofdishes' is basically to show that the problems we face are like dirty dishes in a sink after a meal and we have to clean up the problems after it happen. But well, not even a dishwasher can clean up this stain. I cry myself to sleep these days, hoping the next day the birds will fly in and pick my clothes for me. AHHH come on Sean!, wake up from that dream, it is more like waking up to choosing which knife to stab your own heart. I simply can see "moving on" as an option. I'll continue to post just check it out.